Yesterday marked a milestone in my life that I been working toward for the last 13 years. I finally got my vasectomy. A lot of people have asked me why I would have a vasectomy even though I don’t have any kids. Well here is the simplest explanation that I can give. There are some people in this world that should never be allowed to have children for one reason or another. It just so happens that I feel like I belong in that category. I was raised in an abusive environment and have no tolerance for children. I can’t stand being around them or hearing other people talk about them. My foul attitude towards children and and lack of emotional response to hearing about violence toward them led me to my final decision. In other words, it was a proactive decision on my part to prevent any future harm to myself, both mentally and legally, as well as others around me.
I’m sure there are some people who will still think that it was a poor decision, but I spent well over 13 years knowing that this was what was right for me. When asked by a great-aunt 5 years ago when I was going to settle down and have children, my mother just looked at her and shook her head. I think she already knew what I had decided. Whether she had accepted the inevitability of that I don’t know. The question I have to answer now is this. When, if ever, do I tell my mother? I have to wonder if she held out hope that one day I would relent and sire a demon seed. Whatever the case may be, it’s too late now.
After returning home yesterday I felt more tired than usual. That could have been due to not sleeping well Wednesday night, the lack of food for 13 hours, and of course from the procedure itself. But later last night, after having slept for a few hours, I felt a peace of mind come over me that I had been looking for in vain. And now that i have it, I know that I made the right decision.
